At one time, Apple keyboards did, in fact, have the 'control'-key left of the 'A'-key.
In fact, I have always believed Sun modeled their keyboard after the original Apple keyboards, down to the existence and placement of "open <symbol>" and "closed <symbol>" keys. (These were the Open-apple and Closed-apple keys from the Apple II days, now replaced by (open) apple/command keys.)
Later, Apple replaced their keyboard layout with the 101-key layout that the PC had made an industry standard.
Complain to the PC crowd. Specifically, complain to the U.S. government which mandated that companies like IBM standardize on a single keyboard layout (rather than one for each platform: VM, OS/400, AIX, etc.). That standardization gave you your 'control'-key in the lower left.
Also, don't equate "something I am unfamiliar with" to "UNIX-antagonistic". Many UNIX vendors other than SUN get along just fine with the 'control'-key in the lower left. Also, many non-U.S. keyboards have layouts requiring greater dexterity than your simple gripe. (The '/'-key on German keyboards comes to mind.)
Now, stretch your pinky and feel free to adapt.