I'm one of those "retards" that uses the often slammed language called Visual Basic. I never went to programming school and I don't program professionally, but back before Windows I needed a program to do a specific task that was otherwise not commercially available. I wrote the program in QBasic because it came on the computer. Was I supposed to know any better? It was easy to learn. Why waste my time learning a bunch of wierd, non-intuitive coding conventions. The program was just for me. I never intended to sell it. But over the years many people saw the program and wanted it; more than 2000 people have purchased the program. Of course, the current version is no longer in QBasic. But is written in VB5 and has a full standardized GUI running on all version of Windows. I know VB has it limitations. Everybody seems to think the language they prefer is the best. It may be the best for what they do but not the best for what someone else does.
So, where can a layman go to get a simple straightforward comparison of the various languages? How about a comparison of useful functionality rather than technical stuff. Things like: easy to code, speed of operation, print preview, long documents with a variety of formatting, good communication with printer, connection to email and web, etc.