A Fifty Year Wave of Change
Subject:   Re: Disappointed
Date:   2007-09-05 07:48:01
From:   cwade
Response to: Disappointed

"You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar" -- American Proverb

It's a temporary situation we're in today. Not to become a sloganeer, but "It's always darkest before the dawn" -- I don't think any one of us wants to tone down the delivery so closely connected to the feelings of near-violation and scandal that accompanies having the rug pulled from under us so many times. But to be truthful, gender aside, it's really difficult to tolerate opinions when they're being shoved down one's throat in a vitriolic fashion, no matter who we are.

It just so happens that the status quo has it that men are regarded less as blowhards, and more as assertive, when exhibiting this behavior. And likewise, women are slandered and maligned more openly for that behavior, than they are rewarded, even though I'm sure many individuals of both genders silently loathe a male blowhard as much as publicly slander a female one.

But I'll repeat it again, "You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar," a scientifically proven hypothesis that, I think, can be a fitting analogy for our present social situation as women in technology. Not to mention, I feel pretty strongly (and personally) that, as a passionately opining human being, I usually benefit from dialing back my delivery somewhat, since it seems to inject a level of clarity and focus to an argument. Detachment, as a personal style, has worked tremendously for me as I've worked on it.

-- Carol Wade

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