I really enjoyed your article, Leslie. I completely identified with you when you said, "in an effort to be the change I wish to see in the world, I've distanced myself from questions of gender roles in my work." I do this, as do many other women in technical fields.
Your experience is a great case study for technical groups that incorporate people who aren't programmers or evangelists. I think your insights about the skills needed for "social engineering" apply regardless of gender. I know men who end up with the title "geek herder", because "geek papa" just doesn't mean the same thing as "geek mama".
Your statement that "the healthiest [open source projects] are those who place a high value on contribution of any kind" applies more broadly than just the tech world. To inspire lasting participation and enthusiasm, we have to let people know not just that they are wanted, but that they are needed and essential.