I can agree with what you're saying, Lena, but you're putting the issue squarely on the shoulders of women, without holding men in any way accountable. That might make you popular in the geek circles, but it doesn't necessarily translate into a future where don't have to necessarily do more, be more, strive more, more more more just to get ahead.
You didn't like what was happening to you so you started your own company. Commendable. However, if this was last century instead of this, would you fight for women's suffrage by recommending we go off and start our own country, rather than be critical of the status quo in this one?
Your solution might work for you, but it doesn't ultimately work for the field, or the women AND men in the field.
I agree that backbone and self-respect is critical, but if we're not heard, not seen, not acknowledged, all the backbone and self-respect in the world won't make a difference.