Whom are we fighting? And for what, exactly?
Frederick Douglass is an example I picked for a reason. He combatted actual, legalized oppression, not simply the alleged "cultural" sins of society. Moreover, he wasn't a bitter man. And he helped himself first. He gained his own freedom by his own path and then began his work, rather than, for example, writing tracts and publishing them anonymously while still a slave... and he became both famous and respected, and through that he was able to foster change.
Let me say it again: I very explicitly picked him as an example. I wanted to point out something very important. To conflate slavery or actual women's suffrage with what—at best—is a "somewhat unfriendly climate" is ludicrous, but it is a common comparison. If a man can raise himself out of slavery to become what Frederick Douglass became, then what excuse have we? It's beyond logic.
I don't even think of what I do as "flouting traditional roles." I'm just being me. In my opinion, the more you frame your daily life as a fight, the more scuffles you'll come across. It's like magic.