You wrote: kvetching about women in technology is the antithesis of personal responsibility. No matter how you slice it, the arguments of something must be done; help must be given; someone must change!; or women fail because of something men do all feature the underlying assumption that someone else has power over you or insert-allegedly-marginalized-group-here. After all, a person must have power over you to grant you special treatment or quash your efforts. And that's just not right. I don't even mean that it's not morally right—it's just not accurate.
If a person takes out a gun and shoots you, they have power over you. Maybe not moral power, but power nonetheless. If a judge sentences you, they have power over you. That is a fact. If a person thinks that women cannot do technology well and fails to consider you for a job, they have power over you. Not absolute power, not power to stop you completely, but power of some magnitude. If a person doen't like the color or shade of your skin and discriminates against you, they have power over you. And you will find such discrimination in all societies, including the African-American.
You seem to think that such situations do not exist or are not worth thinking about anymore. You seem to think you are above such forces. But you are not. Some groups in any society have much more power than others. All history is a struggle between these groups. One Frederick Douglass does not make up for tens of millions of brutaized slave lives. Power is important. Ann Frank lived a great life, but was killed nonetheless. Do you think maybe she would have traded her fame for a few decades of living? People want to live as best they can but the playing field is not even. You have just not encountered this in a way which affects you greatly. I have a feeling that you may look back on your words in 30 years and shake your head.