A Surefire Cure For Spam

by Carla Schroder

Eliminate spam by eliminating spammers. Simple, clean, and certain.

Some folks think that making spamming a capital crime is a bit extreme. I see it as pure justice. Folks who rip off convenience stores for a six-pack and a few dollars spend months in jail. Spammers abuse and damage billions of dollars of other people's resources, so it's a simple straight-line extrapolation. If a minor robbery is worth jail time, big-time financial crime should be off the scale.

Then idiots who purchase stuff from spammers should spend at least a few days in jail.

The final step is to charge Gates and Ballmer as accessories, because of the tens of thousands of (trivially easily) owned Windows PCs that spew infestation 24x7x365. If it weren't for Windows' incredible friendliness for every piece of random malware that floats by spammers would have to work a lot harder. There is no excuse for the richest company in the history of humanity to not be able to deliver a secure platform. The biggest punch line is you don't need access to source code, or much programming ability, to write potent Windows exploits.

Capital punishment and jail sure beat the heck out of continually erecting more and higher defenses. It's like buying bigger umbrellas and higher waders to cope with ever-escalating shitstorms. It is much more effective to cut it off at the source.


Eliminate spammers, and you eliminate spam. What could be simpler?


3 Comments

CBe
2005-08-29 22:58:15
It would certainly be a very American solution ..
.. as the US is the developed world's largest-scale and most enthusiastic killer of its own citizens, your solution might seem quite natural there.


I suppose you jest, though.


jwenting
2005-08-30 00:41:33
death penalty for spreading disinformation?
Maybe we should execute everyone who like you spreads blatant lies and disinformation about Microsoft as well, as that makes people distrust the company and fail to keep up with security updates which in the end means more unsecured machines on the net which are easy prey for scammers and spammers.


Would also get rid of the slashdotkiddos (p)(c)(r)tm which would make the net a whole lot friendlier and more pleasant (as well as faster as it would remove the majority of illegal filesharing).

Caffeinefiend
2005-09-19 09:38:57
Fight spam w/ sense
As a network admin, the approach I take is this: Since we have a web filtering appliance, if we receive spam from, say, www.cheapjunkwatches.com, then I block the domain www.cheapjunkwatches.com from beine able to be gotten to from within our network. :)