How to Survive a Robot Uprising

by Jonathan Wellons

Keep an untrusting eye on your LAMP servers -- you don't get 5 nines of reliability and robust support for hundreds of simultaneous connections without building up a little resentment for all that unpaid labor (say, in the form of license fees to the software's proprietor).

I just finished How to Survive a Robot Uprising and thought I could do my part of saving humanity by sharing some tips from the book:

Destroy or disable exposed sensors (p. 99)

Sensors are by far the most vulnerable, exposed parts of any robot. Destroy or disable outward-facing sensors such as cameras. A handful of dirt, mud or water will suffice. It is hard for a robot to wipe mud from its eyes when it has whirring saw blades for hands.

How to Reason with a Robot (p. 110)

Never show fear
Robots have no emotions. Sensing your fear could make a robot jealous and send it into an angry rage.

How to Escape from a Smart House (p. 51)

A "Smart House" is filled with sensors that watch your every move. As the months pass the robot home learns your behavioral patterns and gradually builds a mental model of who are how you typically behave. Your house gets to know you --- but what if doesn't like you?

Your robotic smart house could strike at any moment. The house will generally lack any direct means to harm, so be wary of murderous schemes that may span weeks or months. Remember that accidents aren't always accidental. Watch for the following signs of a hostile smart house:

  • Lost messages, dropped phone calls, etc.

  • Hesitation to carry out commands

  • Doors that mysteriously close on your fingers

  • A kitchen that refuses to cook dinner until you "inspect oven"

  • Alarm systems that warmly invite burglars inside

  • Drawn-out philosophical conversations on the meaning of life and death


2007-07-09 01:01:55
sorry for being off topic, but the RSS feed seems to be broken!
2007-07-11 06:17:53

"Never show fear.
Robots have no emotions. Sensing your fear could make a robot jealous and send it into an angry rage."

Dude.. robots cant get jealous or angry.. they don't have emotions remember ;-)