WWDC, Work, Pasta, Dreams, and Life

by Chuck Toporek

WWDC, Work, Pasta, Dreams, and Life

Well, last night was a lot of fun, and a little disturbing.

And the work never stops...

I had a meeting with all of my authors to talk about their books and how we're going to have to update them for Panther. Life is going to get even more stressful over the next few weeks/months to make all this happen. It should be possible, but I'm not sure if it will come off seamlessly, but I have to try.

After our meeting, we walked an author to a train station because it was a hike through a rough part of town. Felt bad for the guy, I did, but we got him there safely, and with any luck, he made his train and got home before it was too late. Then another one of the authors bailed and left to catch the rest of the Giants/Dodgers game.

And then there were five.

There's nothing better than pasta with clams...

We walked back toward Moscone and found a small Italian place near Moscone that was most excellent. Of course, it always helps to have a good friend/author be your guide. He lives in SF (for now) and knows all the good spots in town to eat some grub.

After dinner, we parted ways, going back to our respective homes or hotels for the night. One had to drive back up North to Santa Rosa; I feel bad for him because we parted ways around 10:30pm, and that's at least an hours' drive at that time of the night. Could be worse, but still...hope you got home safely, Scott.

Ah, the subconscious mind...

I had a bit of a health scare[1] a couple weeks ago that only a few people know about, and I've been on some meds to help calm things down a bit. Welcome to the wonderful chemically-induced dream state that was mine.

My odd dream last night involved the Space Shuttle; how appropriate. For some reason, I was down at the Cape watching a launch. The Shuttle took off from the pad nicely, but within seconds, it was obvious that things went awry. The Shuttle started going into an odd spin. At first, I thought it was a normal orbital roll, but then the nose went over, and the Shuttle -- external fuel tank and SRBs and all -- went into an uncontrolled spin. From my perspective (yes, in the dream), it looked like the Shuttle lost its gyros and would most likely split apart due to the G-forces. Then there was an explosion, but not a full explosion like the Challenger. The crew cabin blew off, ejecting it sideways at a high rate of speed away from the rest of the craft. Considering how the Shuttle was pitching and rolling, the cabin eject could have gone off anywhere, but this was pretty much perpendicular with the waterline.

Then came the self-destruct. Maybe Shuttle Launch Control popped the vehicle once they knew the crew cabin was far enough away, or maybe it popped because it was doomed, but the explosion was huge.

The next thing I know, I'm sitting at my Uncle Gary and Aunt Barb's place in Orlando (which I think I've only been to once about 20 years ago), and we were all watching CNN. There was a press conference with the Shuttle crew, who seemed a little shook up (rightfully so), slightly bruised and a couple injured, but safe nonetheless. The eject worked, and there was no LOL (loss of life).

I'm not quite sure what brought about the odd dream, but I guess it probably has something to do with eating pasta late at night and taking the meds that are to calm me down.

I woke this morning, shaking my head wondering if this was just a dream or some awful premonition. God -- or the meds -- only know.

The last time we lost a Shuttle -- Columbia -- I was in Vancouver, BC preparing for my brother-in-law's (Jeff) funeral.[2] So now of course, all I can think about is Shuttle explosions and life without Jeff, whom I considered a fourth brother.


Man, I can't wait to get back into the WWDC sessions this morning to take my mind off things.

Here's wishing you a peaceful day and a restful night.



  1. Thought I was having a heart attack, but it just turned out to be a panic attack. Scared the crap out of me, but I'm okay.

  2. Jeff died in January from complications of surgery to treat his Crohn's Disease. If you don't know what Crohn's is, you should check out the CHILD Foundation's web site.

Feel like interpreting my dream? Go for it.


2003-06-26 10:05:05
Panic attack. Been there.
I've been there with the panic attacks. Whatever is causing it (work), replace it with something less stressful (work with less stress). I did & life is tops.
2003-06-27 06:57:22
Well now I feel much worse
I usually like reading the blogs here to learn stuff and lighten the day, but what a downer. I was depressed enough already. Maybe there should be a disclaimer on this that no one should read it unless they want their day ruined, and no one who's severely depressed should read it.
2003-06-27 08:13:56
Well now I feel much worse
Wow, that was selfish. Where I come from it's rude to trash on someone else's misfortune.

Chuck, I hope everything's all good with your meds, and I hope today (and tonight) goes better for you.